Jay and Rachel

Jay and Rachel are an environmentally conscious couple who wanted to give a child in the care system the chance of a more stable home life. They adopted their little girl when she was five.

Jay shared their story with us.

“I guess, compared to a lot of other people, we were different coming into adoption as we weren’t bothered about having our own birth children. We are very aware of the climate crisis, how over-populated the world is and what the planet will look like for the next generation, and we questioned if we wanted to bring a child into that.

But we also felt like we had something to give to children as well. We found out that there was a clear need for more adopters and so we thought that we could help.

Starting the process with Adoption Counts

After doing some online research we decided quite quickly to start the adoption process. We live just outside Greater Manchester and had the choice of regional agencies, but when we spoke to Adoption Counts we found them so welcoming, warm and supportive. We felt like everyone there had our back from the off and they explained everything clearly.

In the process you get asked pretty early on about what child you are picturing joining your family. I come from a family of all boys so we decided we wanted a girl and, after doing some research and watching a few documentaries, we decided we wanted an older girl. Older children normally wait the longest to be adopted and we felt like we were in a position where we could help.

“In adoption you give quite a lot, but you get so much back. It’s the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done.” - Jay

Being matched with Imogen

Before we’d even been approved at panel, we were told by our social worker that there was a five year old girl who they thought would be a great match for us. Our social worker knew us so well at this point - we’re both outdoorsy and quite active -and there was a little girl into the same things as us.

Once we’d been approved at panel we were asked if we’d like to see Imogen’s profile. That was a big thing actually. Seeing her photo and reading about her personality for the first time brought it all to life and made it feel real. It was really special.

Then not long after that we were invited for a ‘bump-into’ meeting where she didn’t know who we were, but we could be in the same space as her. We went to a local park and sat on a bench having a coffee while she turned up with her foster carers. It was one thing to get the profile - which was amazing - but then to see her in the flesh was just incredible. To see how she played, how she carried herself; walking around, cycling, interacting with her foster parents, even just talking and hearing her voice: it was such a special moment.

It was really emotional for us knowing that this little girl was going to become our daughter. Then, not long after that, the foster carers sent us a video they’d taken of her being told the news that she had been found adopted parents. She was looked so happy and it was brilliant.

A new life as a family

As Imogen was an older child she already had her own personality. But this meant we could prepare ourselves and our home for her. So in her room we put up pictures we knew she’d like so it felt like her own space. We also knew she wouldn’t like a big fuss so we made it a really calm, warming environment for her to come into.

It was exciting welcoming her into our home, but we knew there would be a lot of emotions going round her head as well. Thankfully she settled quickly and we actually fast-tracked the process as she took to her new environment and to us so well.

Despite how well she settled we waited a while until we took her away on holiday. She’d never been on a holiday before, and she had a bit of anxiety around it. She’d had around six or seven moves before she came to us and so she was used to being taken somewhere and then the people in her life changing.

So, we did a lot of reassurance with her that we would be here for her as parents forever. We were on holiday. We weren’t going anywhere. We're doing this together. And once she accepted this the holiday was just amazing. We were in the Lake District, and she was exploring a whole new part of the country for her. We’d been a number of times as a couple but it was more amazing with Imogen as we got to see it all through her eyes. We went on boats on the water, up hills, down by lakes, to some lovely cafes and watched her flourish with all of these new experiences. I remember feeling like I didn’t want that holiday to end as it was so was brilliant. Now she’s more secure with us holidays don’t phase her and we’ve been away lots since, but that first one was extra special.

A future of hope

We’ve now had Imogen with us for over two years and we’ve had so many incredible times with her. It was amazing being with her when she learnt how to swim. And I think I was more nervous than her when she had a speaking part in her first school assembly but she smashed it! And we’ve made new memories and family traditions every Christmas and birthday.

I think in adoption you give quite a lot, but you get so much back. What that child brings to your life is amazing. It’s the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done and I feel privileged that we’ve been able to give Imogen the opportunities that she might not otherwise have had. In return Imogen has enriched our life with happiness and laughter. We feel so lucky.”